Confession…the past couple of months I’ve truly been struggling with balance.
Going into this new school year I knew it would be different because of e-board positions, work, major scheme classes and just life really coming at your girl. At first I felt like I was thriving. I always say I thrive off being busy and productive and I was so excited for this packed semester. However, this constant state of being busy started to become overwhelming and chaotic. I would get so stressed looking at my daily to do lists that I would just close my laptop and sleep. I wasn’t treating my body how I should’ve (eating, sleeping, resting) and it literally sat me down. I vividly remember one Wednesday (my busiest day of the week) I literally could not leave my bed. My body felt so weak, I had no voice, the worst migraine and I was like um…Jesus is this the end? But, I was literally forced to sit down and rest. In all of this chaos I was not only neglecting my body, but myself and not taking the “me-time” that was much needed; like blogging, trying new makeup looks or just chilling for a couple hours and watching Grey’s.
I say all of this not for pity and sympathy, but to say not everything is sunshine and roses. Imposter syndrome is real. I began to feel inadequate in my positions because I felt like I could do more despite evident success!
I began to complain so so much. Until one day I sat down and realized I was complaining about the EXACT things that I prayed and begged God for. I realized I was even neglecting God. I became so “busy” with the blessings He gave me that I wasn’t even making time for Him. In this moment I immediately became convicted because as fast as God granted me all these blessings, they could be taken even faster. I also realized the reason I was struggling so much with balance was because I was not seeking the balance from God. I was so determined Naz could do it herself, which only made things worse for me in the end.
So this is for all my worker bees that are stubborn, the ones that feel like the balance and time management skills they are known for have fallen out the window, the ones that have not taken an hour for themselves in a month.
Instead of basking in the feeling of being a slacker and overwhelmed, bask in the glory and thankfulness of the blessings. Yes there are many, but God does not give you things you cannot handle.
God doesn’t give us what we can handle, God helps us handle what we are given.
